The Difference

Jan. 5, 2011changed me. The day I lost my dad will forever be one of the hardest things I've experienced. On this day my family & I experienced intense pain, pain to the nth degree. It wasn't until many months later that I could look through a different lookin glass, a less shattered & broken looking glass. On Jan. 5, 2011 while I & my family had incredible intense pain, my dad experienced quite the opposite. On Jan. 5th, 2011, my dad experienced incredible and intense joy. Immeasurable joy. Joy we here on earth can't even begin to understand. It took me a while to see things from this perspective. All I focus on was my pain. I'm so glad that now I can think about the opposite. Just what exactly did my dad experience on that morning? We we won't know until we, ourselves gt to see our sweet Jesus face to face but I believe that my dad jumped with 2 new knees that had no more pain in them. I believe that his heart skipped beats & leapt from his chest with joy. I believe that he cried tears of joy when seeing Jesus, quite different from our tears. Ouite different from our heart skipping beats from the sadness, quite different from our bodies literally hurting from the pain.
          On July 18, 2011 we as a family experienced yet another heartbreaking loss. One of the sweetest women to walk the face of this earth left us to go home with Jesus. My cousin Cheryl fought an 8 year battle with breast cancer. Its very hard for me to say she lost her battle on July 18 because truly SHE won. We lost our hero, our champion, our fiesty angel but again Cheryl got to experience incredible and intense joy on July 18 while we was experiencing quite the opposite. Her passing I still hurt from, as I write these words tears fall but I do know that her body is new again and will forever be cancer free and she's chillin with Jesus :) AMEN!
         2011 has taught me that I'm not immune to heartache, that God allows me to experience these things because 1. I'm human 2. because it draws me closer to Him and 3. I have alot to learn and God will use bad situations to teach me about His amazing Glory and His sovereignty.
          So on Jan 5th, 2012 we chose to celebrate my dad's life not mourn his death. I wanted to find a way to honor and remember him that would best represent him. Soooooo...I donated blood. I've tried for a few months now to donate and I have low iron sometimes so I haven't been allowed to donate in a while. I was keeping my fingers crossed when I went. Thankfully it was up enough for me to donate. Lucky?! I think not! What could be better than giving blood, something that could save another person's life on the anniversary of the day my dad met the One who shed His blood to give us life. I plan to go and donate on the anniversary of Cheryl's passing as well (I hope to donate in between now & then) but definitely go on July 18. If you've never donated blood, please consider it, its free (plus you usually get a tshirt or movie tickets or something, bonus!) and its lifesaving. OK thats my PSA for the day! Ok so back to celebrating my dad's life. That evening we had all his favorite foods for supper. Cracker Barrel's fried chicken, homemade mashed potatotes, pinto beans, biscuits and so on. It was a purdy good lil ole snack!
          I started this blog last year out of grief, a way to express my hurt and anger. Although I miss my dad dearly the hurt has eased. I plan to continue this blog but with different intentions. I still want to write about life's experiences but also other things. Things I'm passionate about, like: cooking, my awesome fanstaically (yea I made up that word) kid, my fine husband, working out (can't believe that has become a passion) and crafty stuff. I'm not that crafty in general but I do have my moments. And I hope to find new passions along the way and share them. So without further ado.........Lets get this party started!
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

                               the delicious celebratory spread, my dad would have be proud

we also released balloons to celebrate but Mr. Kai had other plans so we had a balloon to play with